3/20/10

passing cloud

I want to inhale you, I want to curl up on your chest. I want your whole big warm hand flat on my back and I want to listen to your blood pumping through the valves of your heart while I count your ribs with loving fingers.

I want to hide in the curve of your neck and breathe in your molecules and taste your smooth skin with my whole face. I want to draw your profile like Etch-A-Sketch in the air I want to slip my hand under the elastic and escape to the warm hollows

I want to hold you so tight I melt onto you into you and then I can squeeze you from the inside out and we'll be so together we're one body and all my nerve endings will connect with yours and finally my palms will be satisfied.

Mostly my palms ache because they were holding you but now you're gone and there's nothing left to do but dig my nails into them and fight down the knot in my trachea.

3/16/10

Art Videos

I keep hearing about Lady Gaga's "Telephone" video being "artistic." I get it, BUT, after watching the Gorillaz's "Stylo" video, I don't want to hear that crap anymore! This is some real "art"!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9vAOzYz-Qs

Bruce friggin' Willis is in it! This made me really happy. I love the Gorillaz's attitude, too--nonchalant little animations in a real, badass car. How cool.

3/3/10

Loner

"The friends you make in college are friends you'll have for life."

Looks like a lonely fucking life ahead of me.

3/2/10

Missing

I'm trying to convince myself that it wasn't really perfection; it was only what I was comfortable with. As in, once you get used to something a certain way, any other way seems "wrong." Like ballet technique: you get trained in Vaganova method, say, and then some Balanchine adherent wants you to open up your arabesque, and all your training screams, WRONG. And you don't even want to try it.
So I'm trying to tell myself it's not that what we had was the only thing that can ever be right.
... Even though that's the way it feels.